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Home » Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye

November 19, 2015 by Nicole Crocker 20 Comments

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Why did you have to leave us?  We weren’t ready to let you go. Saying Goodbye is never easy and your leaving came without warning. It has left us all so broken hearted and we are missing you so much.

Saying Goodbye

I’m sorry that I’ve been away for so long but we suffered a great loss here a few weeks ago. Without warning my father tragically passed away. We received the call on a Tuesday that he had suffered an Aortic Dissection and massive stroke.  When we arrived at the hospital the team of doctors that were working on him told us that there was nothing that they could do and that he only had a short amount time left.  Receiving that type of news is very difficult to process.  I could see the doctor’s mouth moving but my mind was just thinking that he was wrong.  I just saw my dad a few hours before and he was fine. Using the leaf blower to clear the leaves from the driveway, running the chain saw to cut some fire wood….he looked so strong.  This couldn’t be the same man that was lying in the hospital bed in front of me.

We prayed for a miracle and our prayer was answered.  It may not have been the miracle that we were hoping for but it was a miracle none the less.  With  the amount of stress and damage that my father’s body had suffered he should not have still been with us let alone been able to talk to us. We were granted the miracle and gift of time with him.  The stroke had done its damage but it left one piece of my father’s brain able to function.  My father always had a great sense of humor and it was still in tact.  Maybe a blessing in some small way.  All I wanted to do was cry but he made sure that we had one last laugh together.

The other miracle was that all 6 of his brothers and sisters were nearby and able to get to the hospital in time to see him and say goodbye that evening.  The doctors said he would not make it to the morning but he proved them wrong. The following day brought more love from close friends, nieces and nephews coming to be by his side.  I was even able to drive to pick my daughter up at college and make it back for her to be with him. He still was not ready to leave us though. He looked as though he was just peacefully sleeping. Ready to wake at any moment.  I still wasn’t sure the doctor was right about his condition and was just praying that he would be wrong.

There was one last person that needed to make it back before he would leave us and I knew that was what he was waiting for.  My sister had just arrived in Florida when this tragedy befell us and was frantically trying to make it back in time to see him one last time.  He was waiting for her.  She was his first baby  and he was not going to leave her without saying goodbye .  She arrived at 11:30 pm with his favorite chocolates that she had promised to bring him from Florida. We were finally all together and surrounded him with our love.  We held hands and prayed then my aunt began to sing a beautiful song about angels raising him up.  He took his final breath at 5 am and his soul was lifted up to heaven. 

Saying Goodbye

The past few weeks have been a whirl wind.  My father touched so many lives and the amount of people that came to pay their respects was a true testament of the life he lived. We are  so very grateful that so many people came to celebrate his life with us. Some from as far away as Canada and California.  From former customers and business associates to the waitress at his favorite restaurant. It was quite clear that his friendly, outgoing, generous personality left a lasting impression on so many.

He greeted everyone with a warm and happy smile and always went out of his way to say hello.  Sometimes when we were out at a restaurant he would spot someone that he thought he recognized.  He had to go over to say hello and chat.  Sometimes he would talk for quite some time with the person only to find out it wasn’t who he thought it was and in fact didn’t know them at all.  That always made me laugh.  He could talk to anybody!  We heard so many wonderful stories like this over the past few weeks.  One of my favorites was shared by a fellow  parishioner. Every Friday our church holds a fish fry.  One particular Friday my father came through the exit  area and cut all of the cars waiting in line.  The gentleman working the fish fry asked my father what he was doing and if he wanted to place and order.  My dad just replied “No.  I just want to make a donation.”  He handed him some cash and drove off.  He was one of the most generous people I know.

Saying Goodbye

Dad, you were a great father and an even better grandfather.  Thank you for being a part of my children’s lives and helping to mold them into the incredible adults they have become. I wish you didn’t have to leave us so soon.  It still has not sunk in that you’re are not coming home.  I still feel like I’m going to walk through the front door and see you sitting at your computer.

  Saying Goodbye isn’t easy.  The only thing that makes your leaving a little more bearable is the fact that this really isn’t goodbye.  I know I will see you again soon. In a blink of an eye we will meet again…..I love you dad.   

Filed Under: Celebrating Our Heritage Series

Comments

  1. Karen Melia says

    November 19, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Nicole..such a beautiful and loving tribute. It’s been 28 years since I lost my dad and every time I drive by their little house on Singletary Ave I think I’ll see his truck in the driveway and him walking up from his beloved garden. He too left an incredible legacy of love to my two children. Thank you for your story of Paul…we all miss him. Be strong .. With love, Karen

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 19, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Thank you Karen. Missing him every day and I’m sure we still will 28 years from now as well. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  2. Denise Stuart says

    November 19, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    So beautiful Nicole! What a wonderful tribute to your Dad. He is loved and missed by many. <3

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 19, 2015 at 6:59 pm

      Thank you. Missing him every day. Enjoying so many fond memories though to keep us strong. Many lessons to be learned by the life he lived.

      Reply
  3. Sandy says

    November 19, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    A sudden death is such a shock. You are very fortunate to have had that extra time with him to say goodbye and for him to know how loved he was.

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 19, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      Thank you Sandy. We are very grateful for the time we were given.

      Reply
  4. Christy Scripps says

    November 19, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    What a lovely tribute you wrote about your father, Nicole. Tears were streaming down my face. Your father sounds like such an amazing man. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 19, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment Christy. Your condolences are much appreciated.

      Reply
  5. D. Larsen says

    November 19, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Such a wonderful piece honoring your father. Thank you for sharing a small piece of his life with us. I lost my father 8 years ago and miss him greatly every day. The pain lessens as the love holds strong. I too believe I will see him again. Prayers and blessing to you and your entire family.

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 19, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Thank you D. We are all having our moments of tears but also some laughter. Fond memories of good times are keeping us strong. Thank you for your prayers.

      Reply
  6. Ann Harris says

    November 19, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    What a beautiful tribute! I had the opportunity to see your parents this summer while I was up from Florida at Calabria…..had a nice chat….always a kind word from his lips… A true gentleman!! So sorry for your loss!

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 19, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      Thank you Ann. One of their favorite restaurants. Calabria was great during all the chaos of making the funeral arrangements. Sent over a beautiful spread of food. He would have loved it.

      Reply
  7. Carol Botty says

    November 20, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Nichole, How proud he would be of the loving tribute you wrote. Your Dad touched many lives with his kindness, wisdom and compassion. He always seemed the happiest when I saw him with your beautiful Mom and surrounded by his family..Our town is not the same without him…..

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 20, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Thank you Carol. The outpouring of support from this little town of ours has been amazing.

      Reply
  8. Betsy @ Desserts Required says

    November 20, 2015 at 11:57 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to your dad is heartwarming and how blessed you were to have such a wonderful father. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      November 20, 2015 at 11:59 pm

      Thank you Betsy.

      Reply
  9. Diane says

    November 23, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    How beautiful. It does take a really long time to emotionally and mentally catch up with sudden death of a loved one like this. I’m so happy you were given the miracle of connection with him before he passed. What a loving, giving man to have for your dad. Thank you so much for sharing a little piece of him and your family with us at this very difficult time. What a lovely legacy for you.

    Reply
  10. KC the Kitchen Chopper says

    November 23, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    I am truly sorry for your loss. My Mother in Law passed so suddenly, no one had a chance to say goodbye. I had written her a letter about why her son “The Hubby” was such a good person because of her. I never sent it and she never got to read it. But I know she’s seen me read it over and over in the quiet. Wishing I’d sent it in time. I am grateful for your family that you got to say goodbye!

    Reply
  11. Gaye @CalmHealthySexy says

    December 7, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    This is really beautiful, Nicole. What a wonderful father you had.

    Reply
    • Nicole Crocker says

      December 8, 2015 at 4:02 am

      Thank you Gaye.

      Reply

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